For example, i started writing this blog entry last night but now it's today. And what i wanted to say last night is not what i want to say today.
So you're not getting the blog entry i intended to write, but this other one i'm writing instead.
And it feels like that applies to many other areas of my life right now too. Everything is a jumble of unrealised plans, unfinished thoughts and not yet started projects. My "To Do" lists are getting longer and longer and as soon as one thing is crossed off another is added.
I am chasing my tail, as it were.
Most of it's epic dull as well, so i won't bore you to death with the details.
I thought perhaps i'd just do a little summary update for each person instead.
I'll start with Chris, since he's the biggest and the oldest (no offence cariad ;) )
Chris passed his second year of uni (wahoo!) He made some grumbling sounds about his results not being as good as they should be, but to be frank, he's a bit mental. Not only did he get perfectly acceptable results under any circumstances (62% for both his assignments) but he completed them both under conditions that most people would struggle to even physiologically survive in...i.e. our house, with all it's inhabitants.
Have you ever tried to write a shopping list in the presence of a toddler and a baby? It starts well enough but the next thing you know the baby has stolen your pen and is drawing on himself with it, and the toddler is jabbering on relentlessly so much so that your cognitive functioning capacity has been reduced to almost zero and you're struggling to remember what the name of that orange vegetable is...you know, that one that grows in the ground...the one that they both actually eat...argh...what is it?! And now the baby is eating your piece of paper and you feel like crying...well imagine that increased one hundred fold and you have some idea what it might be like to try and write an academic essay with two small children in the house. So, you see, 62%=awesome ;)
He is now half way through his summer "holidays" although i'm fairly certain he has probably never felt less relaxed in his life.
And very soon he will be a final year student nurse, just 12 months away from being a really real NMC pin holder. Exciting times.
To continue in age/size order i suppose i should probably talk about myself next.
Well. Today i'm a bit fed up. Caught in an endless cycle of (paid)work, (house)work and childcare with little time for anything else in between.
But you're catching me at a bad time, as i've had to deal with rather a lot of poop and pee today, mainly belonging to Toby, and mainly off the floor. Anyone would feel a bit glum under the same circumstances i'm sure.
On a more positive note, on Wednesday evening I LEFT THE HOUSE ALONE AND NOT TO GO TO WORK (!!!) AND STAYED OUT ALL NIGHT (!!!) Before anyone starts conjuring up images of an alco-Mum staggering from pub to bar to club, i actually went for a very civilised meal and a few glasses of wine at my best friend's house and had a much needed catch up with her and one my other closest, oldest friends. It made sense for me to stay over as i only got over there around 7.40pm (i didn't want to leave Chris to deal with Bedtime alone, i know how rough that can be) and i thought it would be nice to be able to have a drink for a change and not have to worry about driving home.
It was the first time i've been out (socially) without the boys since having them, i.e. my first "night out" since July 2009 when, at 22 weeks pregnant with Toby i went to see NIN play at the M.E.N.
I can't even begin to describe how amazing it was to be able to talk to people without interruption. Magical. I didn't even drink that much, i was intoxicated enough on the free-flowing conversation ;)
(apologies for the rather mentally unstable expression, this is the most recent photo i have of me by myself, in our eternally messy kitchen unpacking the grocery shopping. Glam)
Toby is finding it very difficult to play on his own without any input again. Obviously when he was a baby he needed our guidance in play and then as a toddler he would like us to join in but starting being able to play for short periods on his own without needing anything from us grown-ups.
Recently however he is wanting us to be fully engaged with whatever game it is he's playing all the time. I mean, constant dialogue and action and any perceived 'failure to join in' on our part, be that because we need to pee, or change the baby's nappy, or get some coffee, or just chill the fuck out for a minute without having to pretend to be Spiderman's arch nemesis (i don't even know who spiderman's arch nemesis is...) is taken very very badly.
I imagine it's just a phase. I tell myself it's just a phase because i actually find it very difficult to join in his play in the way he wants me to. I love having fun with my children, don't get me wrong, but he wants to role play with his cars/figurines/puzzle pieces over and over and over and over with them saying the same things to each other/repeating the same actions over and over and over and over and he is so bossy with it too. If you ad lib at all you are at the mercy of his temper!
He is also having nightmares occasionally, and needing one of us to go in and switch his lamp on and lie with him for a bit until he (or we) fall back asleep.
We are potty training again and it is going much better this time. It's obvious he's ready this time, and we're bit better prepared (practically and mentally i mean) so fingers crossed it won't turn into a big battle. Having said that he has peed on the floor twice today and also pooped in his pants twice. So i reserve the right to retract my statement about it "going much better this time" at any point.
Current obsessions include superheros, like Batman, Spiderman and X-Men (thank you Chris, for that), Toy Story, Tree Fu Tom and as usual, pirates.
And last, but by all means not least. The littlest member of our crew...
Rudy is now in that funny no-man's land caught between baby and toddlerhood. He is walking and trying to talk and he understands so much of what you say. But obviously, he's only 10.5 months old, so he's a baby in most respects. Just a super smart and physically capable one ;)
He is now the proud owner of SHOES although prefers chewing them to wearing them. He has the walking thing nailed and is now working in increasing his speed, and has also turned his hand to climbing. He can climb the full staircase in one go, although often tries to sit down for a little rest midway, causing whichever parent is behind him to have a mini heart attack.
He can say "Ta" which he appears to use to mean "Gimme that!" or "I'm going to hand you this item in a minute". He uses "Woof" to refer to the dog, the cat and all other animals, and this morning he said "Hello". He waves and claps and laughs when other people do and copies pretty much everything his big brother does, good and bad.
He has four teeth and still bites me when feeding, although usually by accident these days, he has a fang, and even when feeding very sleepily and gently, he can't help but catch my nipple with it. I contemplate stopping breastfeeding on an almost daily basis but am no nearer making anything like a decision on the matter. I just like to remind myself it's an option.
His sleep is a mess. One night this week he slept from 7.30 until 10.45pm when Toby woke him up (crying because he'd had a bad dream), Chris went in to him to settle him back to sleep and he then slept until 5.45am! Then other nights he takes ages to settle, stirs regularly throughout the evening, wakes for a feed around midnight/1am and i'm held captive in his room from that point onwards, until 6am ish when he decides he's up for the day. It's usually one good (ish) night followed by a few rotten ones. I try to take the good ones as a "free gift" so i'm not too disappointed when it all goes to shit the next night.
He is adorable, and cheeky. Still mainly wearing 9-12 month clothes, which he's been in a while now, but it's hardly wonder he's so trim given how much the boy moves!
That's all folks :)