It's Theme Thursday! And this week Jenn has gone all out and conjured a time-machine so we can all send letters to our sixteen year old selves. Cool, right?!
I left home the month before my 16th birthday and life was kind of crazy and hard, really really hard actually. So there's a lot I could have written in this letter...but...I'm kind of of the opinion that everything happens for a reason...
(Screenshot from BTVS, courtesy of 20th century fox and the amazingness that is Joss Whedon's brain)
Ok, good point Buffy. I actually don't believe everything happens for a reason, but I believe that shit happens, and a lot of the time you can't control it but you can try to control how you react to it and I also believe that my life, right now, is pretty damn awesome, so even though I had to go through some stuff to get here, I'd do it all again just exactly the same if it guaranteed me the same outcome.
With that in mind, I present to you- my letter:
Dear (16 year old) Rebecca
It's your sweet 16!
I know there really isn't anything sweet about it, apart from maybe the nauseatingly sweet smell of horse manure that is your life right now, and I know that when your friend Jenny's Mum brings your cake out with everyone singing "Happy Birthday!" you'll be bawling too much to even blow out the candles BUT I'm your 28 year old self so trust me when I say that everything is going to be fine.
Repeat after me: everything is going to be fine. Things will work themselves out, and one day in the not-so-distant-future all this will someday seem like a bizarre film that you watched about someone else's utterly fucked up life.
You just need to keep on doing what you're doing and everything will kind of fall into place. Oh except, the self-harming, I know you're angry right now- at the world and everyone in it, including yourself, but honestly you need to cut that shit out and find a healthier coping mechanism, talk to people, get some help, here might be a good place to start.
It won't be easy but you're worth it (According to L'oreal anyway, but I don't think that commercial is out yet so I've probably just confused the hell out of you).
Other than that, you're doing good kiddo so just keep swimming...oh sorry, that film isn't out yet either, but it's a Disney movie- you'll like it!
Life is good, not so much right now I know, but it will be- just you wait :)
Love from (28 year old) Rebecca