If I had to justify this glass of wine I could write a fucking book.
It would begin with "My 2 year old just had diarrhea in the bath...a bath which contained not only every single bath toy we own but also his 4 year old brother".
It would feature the word "cancer" a lot.
And it would end with "...and my left leg will not stop fucking twitching!"
Good thing I'm too tired to write really as I doubt it'd be a best-seller.