Back after a break

It's over a week since my last blog entry so there's lots to tell but how much of it will be of interest to anyone other than myself is anyone's guess ;)

I haven't been online much at all to be honest, part of that has been because of work keeping me busy but also because Chris has had some time off and I've wanted to really enjoy our family time as much as possible, knowing it's likely to be much more scarce in the coming months as he starts his final "Prep for Practice" placement ready to qualify/graduate in August (Eeeeeep!)

Another factor has been my emotional stability (or lack thereof) and thus my need to take some time away from the internet, which in all it's awesomeness can nonetheless sometimes be...well...a bit much. I am not normally an advocate of the "sand, head, go forth and bury" approach but I really needed some time to just enjoy my little family and see some beauty in the ordinariness of life because I am such a bucket of emotion at the minute I was really in danger of allowing all the rubbishness and sadness and craziness of the world to just fill me up to the brim.  Having a few days of just dipping in to facebook now and again to deposit a few photos of my children to share with friends and family, and skimming the occasional article online seems to thankfully have stopped that from happening, and given me time instead to tip some crap out of that bucket and make space for some positivity instead.

Bad things are happening the world over and earlier in the week had me crying into my ovaltine, which you should know, is a good look for me.  On a more personal level, there are lots of things happening close to home that are difficult too, and it seems like lots of my time recently is being spent with a head full of whirling thoughts about how things are and what might come next and how to help, and what to do, and searching for answers and solutions, of which by the way, there are very few that are probable or indeed possible.  Fun days with my boys don't stop the bad things or the difficult things or even the whirling thoughts but they do put them all on hold until a time when I'm ready to face them, deal with them and attempt to tackle them.

So, what have we actually been doing? Well, we went to a farm!

In the Batmobile, which once was shiny and is no more.  Farms- full of mud and hay apparently, who'd have guessed?!

Chris had to sit this one out as he was squirreling away working on his Final Ever Essay as an undergraduate student (unless he fails and has to resubmit but he's a clever thing so I'm pretty confident that won't happen) We had a brilliant day though.  Rudy loves animals, I mean, I know all small people do, but he gets so excited, and although he doesn't know the names (aside from "caaaaa" which could be car or cat depending on context) he is an expert at animal noises.  Possibly the most adorable part of the day was when, after ten minutes in a barn with a load of noisy lambs he actually just started "baa"ing as though having a conversation with them and us, in this new found language.

Very very cute.  As are lambs by the way!

And in fact, all baby animals! The teeny tiny piglets were possibly my favourite:

Although mama pig was GRUMPY and HUNGRY, flinging them out of her way with her snout so he could get to the feed we'd thrown in the pen.  Lots of the animal mamas were breastfeeding although there were some formula feed lambs, in the interests of infant feeding equality ;) and I must confess I did find myself over-identifying slightly, in a "She has to feed HOW MANY babies?! No wonder she looks tired, poor mama!"

Toby declined a donkey ride, and we missed the tractor trailer ride but I'm sure we'll go back there again over the summer.  It's not our most local open farm but it's a lot bigger than our local one so even though it was busy it didn't feel crowded as such and there was more open space for the boys to do their thing, aka, run wild!

This week we've been over in Bangor visiting Chris's Mum and sisters, although only for the day, which is never long enough but it's still good.  This is the first trip we've had in a long time where the sun was actually shining so the boys got to explore Nana's garden, which they loved. (See above re: running wild being their most bestest and favouritest activity!)

Chris's Mum Joy isn't well, and is on the transplant list for a new liver so having to attend lots of appointments and undergo lots of investigations at the minute, which is hard for her most of all, but also for everyone who worries about her and wants to help.  We feel slightly useless living a hundred miles away (literally) but trying to help in whatever way we can.

I maintain it's crazy that in this country we have an "opt in" rather than "opt out" system when it comes to organ donation, meaning that only around 30% of people are actually signed up to the organ donation register when the reality is, most of us would be happy to accept an organ if we needed one.  Either my math is bad or else that means that the majority of folk have a "If it's not affecting me then it doesn't concern me" attitude, which is pretty sad.  I have a pretty relaxed attitude when it comes to my body, in the sense that I have been signed up for organ donation since I was a teenager, I give blood and I am on the bone marrow transplant register also.  Basically, if anybody needs anything and I've got some spare, they're welcome to it. An attitude I try to apply throughout my life, except possibly when it comes to chocolate. Or wine. But you get the idea ;)

Oh and we went to the airport.  It was cloudy and windy and absolutely NOT the perfect day to do some amateur plane spotting.  I say amateur because there are some people there who take it VERY seriously indeed and I'm not sure what they made of Chris and Toby racing around pretending to be aeroplanes or me shrieking into the wind "LOOK RUDY! A PLANE! FLYING IN THE SKY!" Haha.

We had a delicious lunch at a pub near the airport which probably contained my allowed calories for about five days in the chocolate fudge cake alone.  And that was before I poured the cream on.  But nevermind, I'll get back in my size 12 jeans one day...possibly just for that day but it's going to happen!

I'm still running in preparation for the Great Manchester Run which is happening scarily soon, and I am still in desperate need of donations which are all going towards equipment to improve the lives of two children with a rare genetic condition Findlay and Iona so if anyone wants to contribute I'd be super happy! I can only jog about half the distance I need to at this point so training may need to step up a gear (or several) in these coming weeks so if you don't hear much from me, assume I am running around Levenshulme with my face the colour of my hair trying to improve my stamina without wearing away my poor knee caps, who have an appointment with a physiotherapist this week (Finally!  Wahoo!)

And last but certainly not by any means least I went to a one day workshop run by Doula UK on an "Introduction to the work of a doula" and I absolutely LOVED it and, as Chris can attest, came home buzzing with ideas and enthusiasm and it's something I am definitely interested in pursuing in the (I hope not too distant) future!

Whew! I think that just about rounds off the catch up!

Well if any of you are still reading, well done! I assume you don't have small children, or if you do, you may want to take a look around as if they're anything like mine they've probably scaled a bookcase/emptied out all our kitchen cupboards/flooded your bathroom by now (or possibly all three!) Errr...sorry!  GOOD LUCK!